Fried Cabbage with Sausage
Okay, can we just talk about THE meal that literally got me through last winter’s existential crisis?
No joke, there I was – three days of working from home in my rattiest sweatpants, hadn’t washed my hair in what felt like a geological age, and outside? That special kind of February cold that makes you question all your life choices. You know exactly what I’m talking about.
So I’m standing in front of my fridge, which is basically a sad museum of neglected produce at this point. I’ve got half a cabbage that’s seen better days (honestly, it was starting to look like it might develop sentience soon), and some sausages that I’d completely forgotten about buried in the back of the meat drawer.
I almost ordered takeout. Again. But my credit card was basically sobbing at that point, so I thought, “Fine, universe. Challenge accepted. Let’s see what this depression meal has to offer.”
YOU GUYS. What happened next is basically the reason I’m still here to tell this story.
The “I’ve Hit Rock Bottom But Look What I Found There” Ingredients
Listen, if you’re looking for some fancy-pants recipe with ingredients you can only source from that specialty store across town, you’re in the wrong place. This is SURVIVAL COOKING at its finest:
- 1 medium cabbage that’s juuuust on the edge of being compost material
- About a pound of whatever sausage hasn’t expired yet (I used smoked turkey sausage because past-me apparently made at least one good decision at the grocery store)
- 1 onion – the kind that’s already sprouting a little green shoot because you forgot about it
- Some garlic cloves – I used 4 because garlic is the only thing keeping me sane sometimes
- Olive oil – the everyday one, not that “special” bottle you save for when your foodie friends come over
- Smoked paprika – the unsung HERO of my spice cabinet and I will die on this hill
- Red pepper flakes because I like to feel something, ANYTHING
- Salt and pepper – be generous, we’re not counting sodium today
- A splash of apple cider vinegar that I initially bought for some “detox” that lasted approximately 9 hours
The “Therapeutic Cooking Session” Instructions
Step 1: The Prep (AKA Rage Chopping)
First things first – put on whatever music/podcast/audiobook makes you feel like a functional human being. For me that day, it was a true crime podcast because nothing puts my life problems in perspective like hearing about serial killers.
Grab your cabbage and show it who’s boss. Seriously, chopping cabbage is THERAPEUTIC. Slice it into strips while imagining it’s all your problems. Don’t get too violent though – we’re making dinner, not reenacting a horror movie.
Slice the sausage into coins. They don’t need to be perfect because honestly, who’s judging? Not the cabbage, that’s for sure.
Cut the onion while doing that weird mouth-breathing thing we all do to avoid crying. Mince the garlic with the side of your knife like you saw that chef do on TikTok once.
Step 2: Sausage Sizzle (The Apartment Aromatherapy Phase)
Heat up your oil in the most reliable pan you own. You know the one – it’s not your fancy pan, it’s the workhorse that’s never let you down unlike SOME people in your life.
Toss in those sausage coins and let them do their thing. Don’t hover and flip them constantly like you’re checking your ex’s Instagram – LEAVE THEM ALONE for a few minutes so they get those crispy edges that make life worth living.
When they’re golden and your apartment smells so good you’re questioning why you ever order takeout, take them out and set them aside on a plate. Maybe snack on one when no one’s looking. You deserve it.
Step 3: Onion Therapy
In that same pan – because who wants to wash more dishes – throw in your onions. This is the point where your kitchen starts to smell like someone who actually has their life together.
Once they’re looking translucent and slightly golden (about 4 minutes if you’re actually watching the clock, which I never am), add the garlic and spices.
THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE. This is what people mean when they talk about aromatherapy. Take a deep breath. Feel better? Yeah, I thought so.
Step 4: Cabbage Transformation
Now dump in all that cabbage. It’s going to look like WAY too much, like “did I misread the recipe?” much. Trust the process. Cabbage is mostly water and emotional baggage, both of which cook off.
Keep stirring occasionally while it wilts down. This takes about 10-12 minutes, which is the perfect amount of time to:
- Check your phone 37 times
- Do a quick scan of the dishes in your sink and decide they can wait
- Contemplate if you should’ve ordered pizza after all
- Remember you’re an adult who can cook a damn meal
You want the cabbage to get tender but not mushy – it should still have some personality, unlike that date you had last month.
Fried Cabbage with Sausage
Equipment
- Large skillet or sauté pan
- Knife
- Cutting board
- Wooden spoon or spatula
- Measuring spoons (optional)
Ingredients
- 1 medium green cabbage chopped
- 1 lb 450 g smoked sausage (like kielbasa), sliced into rounds
- 1 medium onion diced
- 2 cloves garlic minced
- 2 –3 tbsp olive oil or butter
- Salt to taste
- Black pepper to taste
- ½ tsp smoked paprika optional, for a smoky kick
- ¼ tsp red pepper flakes optional, for heat
Instructions
- Heat the pan: In a large skillet over medium heat, add 1 tablespoon of olive oil or butter.
- Brown the sausage: Add the sliced sausage and cook for 5–7 minutes, turning occasionally until browned. Remove and set aside.
- Sauté onion & garlic: In the same skillet, add a bit more oil if needed. Sauté the diced onion for 2–3 minutes until softened. Add garlic and cook for 30 seconds more.
- Cook the cabbage: Add the chopped cabbage to the skillet. Stir to coat in the oil and onion mixture. Season with salt, pepper, paprika, and red pepper flakes if using.
- Sauté until tender: Cover and cook for about 10–15 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the cabbage is tender and slightly caramelized.
- Combine & serve: Return the sausage to the pan. Stir everything together and cook for another 2–3 minutes until heated through. Adjust seasoning to taste.
- Serve hot and enjoy!
Notes
